Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I'll be honest with you.  I've never written a blog before.  Frankly, I'm scared to.  I have a lot of fears when it comes to writing.  How much do I allow people to see of who I really am inside?

What if what I say comes back to haunt me in future years?  You know how it is.  When we write in the heat of any kind of emotion, those emotions don't tend to last, and what we write is just that, emotions that won't stay the same and will change. 

Anyhow, so as I write, I will be honest, and say it's with some fear.  But ... I need some kind of outlet.  So .. here goes.

Today has been a rough day emotionally.  I saw a video about four people, one in particular who weighed over 600 pounds, and her gastric bypass surgery journey.  There was a lot in her story that while not the same, the emotions she went through were some of the same as mine.  It brought back a lot of pain, and shame that I thought I'd dealt with.  That was difficult.

Another thing today ... I saw one of my daughters post on facebook, thanking a guy for bringing her a doughnut.  The time was about three in the morning.  Then this afternoon she sends me a picture of herself with a new haircut.  WOW, she is one stunning gorgeous young lady.  I know she was studying, but at three in the morning?  Can I just lock her up until she's 35?  She is sweet, fun loving, innocent, naive, gorgeous, spontaneous, adventurous, affectionate, oh, and did I mention gorgeous?

Oh my ... the thing is ... She has three older sisters than her that are gorgeous as well!  So why all the emotional difficulties with letting go now?  I don't know.  I guess that's what I'd like to explore with writing.  And I guess a place to get out my feelings, however raw and unfiltered they are.

Also, like the heading ... I am sure I will write about other things as well.  I certainly am not short of material, what with having 10 children, 2 daughter in laws, a grandson, a granddaughter and another grandson on the way!  Our life is full, and BUSY.

I also haven't even checked out how to make my page pretty or anything like it yet.  Just jumping in for the first time.
 Donna